You’ve heard the old adage, I know you have, “Flattery will get you nowhere”. There is something powerful in flattery, something rather profound, and I feel compelled to share because it’s a bit of an eye-opener on a fresh perspective.
A hundred years ago (give or take a few years) when I was in early grade school, our neighbor boy, who was a few years younger than I, would follow me dern near everywhere and copy whatever I was doing. Being the youngest of our family I had always wanted a younger sibling but this kid seriously changed my mind. He was getting downright ridiculous!
Finally one day, after the proverbial straw broke the camel’s back, I placed my hands on his shoulders for a face-to-face ‘knock-it-off’ discussion. “This needs to stop,” I said. “I can’t take it anymore. Why do you do that? Why do you follow me and copy me? Are you making fun of me?” He replied “No. I want to be just like you.” Enter humble pie, stage left.
Fast forward a few years later to summer break, maybe third grade (give or take). A small group of us neighborhood girls assembled for the usual summer fun of tag, swimming, jump-rope and whatever else struck our fancy. In the midst of our leisure one of the girls piped up and said to me “I wish I could be just like you. You’re always happy and lots of fun to be with”.
I thought to myself “Really?!? What does she see? Nah, she doesn’t want to be like me, she has no idea.” At the time had I recognized it as the complement it truly was, I would have certainly shown a greater appreciation for it. Humble pie is clearly an acquired taste. I’ll take a dollop of whipped cream with mine please.
Recently, meh – a few years ago now, I had observed some interesting activity that frankly annoyed me. It seemed no matter what I would do, a business person in a similar field whom I had at the time considered an acquaintance would do exactly what I was doing in *my* then business.
Now normally I’d consider this to be purely coincidental since, after all, much of that industry we shared is in fact duplicable (incredibly so with sales), but this person was getting downright ridiculous! (Deja vu?) From programs and scheduling, to topics – right down to the same service providers and very similar wording; I could tell this person was practically watching my every move. At first I was shocked, furious even. How *dare* this person! I’ve worked to set myself apart – no touchie! I really felt this person knew better.
Then God tapped on my shoulder and pointed out something I was missing. Right there, as plain as the melted chocolate on my upper lip, I realized – how flattering! Really, I was flattered that someone would model oneself SO much after what I had worked toward.
This new realization caused me to delve into why I found an otherwise warm fuzzy moment so niggling. I took some time to look back and reflect on moments in my past when I felt almost violated that someone wanted to be like me. Those folks weren’t nuisances and those moments weren’t coincidental. They were complements. They were stepping stones. I found myself once again humbled.
What can we learn from this? Gain a fresh perspective, embrace recognition in every form and move forward with receiving praise and being blessed because flattery indeed will get you somewhere.
It would be awesome to hear your perspective on this – what say you?
© 2011 Jennifer Stoll |All Rights Reserved – So No Touchy | Violators Will Be Towed
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Jennifer Stoll, Artist and Caffeinated Brusher of Canvases Extraordinaire at JenniferSomething, is a recovered professionalist on a mission to spread creativity and inspiration through mobile art entertainment. Whether teaching workshops, painting whilst speaking, creating gallery pieces, or painting at events and fairs, Jennifer entertains visually and humorously. Visit JenniferSomething.com for more deets and pics of her art.
